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I'm so tried but I've been really busy and haven't been on here at all today and I just wanted to see how everyone's Saturday went! Happy Easter lovelys! I hope everythign goes well for you : ) Stop freaking out. Your stronger than you think. It'll be a good day as long as you don't let it get you down! <3
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I can not look in the mirror. My reflection disgust me. I don't know why I've let myself get like this. I know when people look at me all they see is grossness. Everything disgust me. Food does not comfort my soul.
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I dont get it, Ive been trying so hard and lost 2 pounds. I feel so mad. I couldn't go to classes today because I felt like a gaint bloob of lard. My grades have gone downhill and I feel like I'm letting my parents down because they don't know that I'm skipping they just keep calling and saying keep up the good work. Yet I'm a failure once again. And I'm in group project so I had to go work on it today and my freinds just stared at me because I literally just rolled out of bed before I left. I don't know what's gotten into me.
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So last night I was on a date and the whole time I just kept thinking of my exboyfriend. We dated for two years and I miss him a lot, the werid thing is we haven't dated for two years. Your think I'd be over him by now right? I just haven't dated anyone since him that I felt the same connection with, and he was my first boyfriend. Anyway the crazy thing is everytime I start thinking of him he calls me and last night I kept getting a phone call from a werid number I didn't have saved in my phone. So finally after the 3rd call I thought who could this be? So I answered it and it was him. Its so CRAZY how we always think of each other at the same time! Anyways he was drunk : ( and I didn't want to talk to him when he was drunk at a party so I ended up hanging up on him because he was being annoying. Of corse this ended up making me not be able to sleep... I just wanted to talk to him but I couldn't because he was drunk. The thing that sucks most is that I want to be with him but I'm at a different college than him and I don't know how it'd work out.
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Today was really good!! I had coffee before my mid term and lots and lots of water... I had a lot of school work and meetings so I didn't get to work out today : ( Thats my downfall. But all I physically ate was a piece of toast and a thin mint. I'm happy.. except that I didn't workout! I didn't go out tonight so I was going to workout but I have a really bad migraine so I figured I'd just take some excedrine migrane pm and go to bed. Think Thin. <3
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So tonight my sorority was invited to my friends soroity for dinner and I have to go bc it's my really good friend's sorority and I'd be a bitch if my whole entire sorority went and I didn't. I talked to her and theyre having potatoes and chicken. I'm planning on cutting my chicken up and hidding it in my potatoes and kectup and not eatting the potatoes but "I dont like them"... Idk but I can't eat because I just had part of a turkey sandwhich and I cant eat more than that today. I have to loose. Anyways I skipped my morning classes and worked out for 2 hours.. Stair climber for 30 min (150 cal) treadmill for 70 (650 cal) )and weights for 20. Think thin Loves. <3
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Todays been a good day... Ive done really well... Ive had a green tea, 48 oz of water, some pickels, a few baked chips and a little bit of a diet coke. Plus i worked out for and hour and a half but then there was a tornado warning so they made us go into a hall without windows n I just left and went tanning bc I have kickboxing tonight anyways. Anyways I'm glad I'm back on the right path, this weekend was bad but I'll make up for it by working out double this week and taking laxitives. I hope everyone else's days are going well!! Bones are beautiful.
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I hate gloomy rainy days. My dorms so dirty and filthy and I'm so so sick of cleaning up after my roommate n ten minuets later its dirty. SO ANNOYING. I have just been laying in be today. I need to get up and go to the gym but I need it to stop raining. I also need to go tanning. I am so pale I havent been since last week. Ew. I feel bad for skipping classes today, I just hope I can get motatived, I'm so sick of everything. Time for a change.
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optimistic
aggravated
crushed
confused